Monday, January 3, 2011

'Celebrity Rehab' and other TV addiction shows walk the line between treatment and performance

January 1, 2011?|? 1:30 pm

Rehab What happens when you put addicted, attention-seeking actors and reality TV stars in front of cameras and tell them you're going to film their rehab?

"We all knew we were on TV," said Jeff Conaway, who appeared in the first two seasons of VH1's "Celebrity Rehab."

"I think everybody, like myself, made choices. Sometimes we would go a little bit further than maybe we normally would. You can't help it. There are cameras sitting in front of your face, and we're paid to be dramatic. That's what we do."

Some professionals in the rehab field worry that programs about addiction — a genre that also includes the HBO series "Addiction" and A&E's popular "Intervention," now in its 10th season — are exploiting patients in their most vulnerable moments.

In this season's first episode of "Celebrity Rehab," former supermodel Janice Dickinson, who had been weaned off of benzodiazepines, revealed to a hospital staff member she was contemplating going to the bathroom to hang herself. The moment was teased endlessly in previews leading to the premiere.

It's exactly the kind of moment that Dr. David Sack, the chief executive of Malibu's Promises Treatment Center, worries will later haunt them. "It becomes a performance — not treatment."

Read the Sunday Calendar feature about "Celebrity Rehab" and "Intervention" here.

Photo: Rachel Uchitel and Leif Garrett in "Celebrity Rehab." Credit: Kevin Winter/VH1.

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Heather Whinnen

interviewed by Ginna Richardson Luck

Published January 1st, 2011


Heather Whinnen is a performer and teacher of aerial arts. She’s been practicing ballet since kindergarten and over the years she’s also diligently learned modern dance and circus arts. She began practicing aerial arts ten years ago and has traveled the world performing. She currently lives and works in Seattle, Wa.

Ginna Luck: HI Heather, thank you so much for talking with me. I have so much I want share with our readers. First off, you are an aerial artist. For those of us who are not familiar with this type of art can you describe what it is you do?:

Heather Whinnen: Aerial arts — or more commonly recognized- trapeze/circus arts, are a combination of stunt work, theatricality, finely tuned dance technique and something very difficult to define, pure soul, the expression of living life in extremes, going over the edge, again and again and again and again and again without a moment of repetition. Nothing living can be repeated or created exactly the same twice. Each moment is unique.

GL: How did you get into this line of work?

HW: I got into this line of work through dance and being born part monkey/cat. I started taking ballet classes in kindergarten and have been dancing ever since. I’ve always loved climbing things and being up high. I have a much better view when playing hide-and-go-seek! No one ever thought to look up on the roof! I always got a kick at watching my friends try to find me. There I was above them seeing them looking for me under the shrubbery!

I so loved the view and the challenge of climbing that I would claw my way up the scraggly Ponderosa pines in our neighborhood! Those beasts are all narrow trunk forever and then sprout into a mess of twiggy branches WAY at the top.

I loved playing the firefighter who got to rescue the cat out of the tree. No ladder! Just some swim goggles for the bark that sprinkled and crumbled like tiny avalanches into my eyes.

My parents, being the awesome liberal parents they are, let my sisters, my friends and I drag an old mattress outside as a crash pad for the swing set. We would launch ourselves off the seats into that thing.

I’d spend hours and hours on that swing set. Climbing around in the chains, climbing to the top bar. And I’d practice my ballet moves and poses while swinging.

My father had been a core driller. He made this INDUSTRIAL strength swing set out of thick steal and iron. He plunged that dense swing set poles deep into the earth and made deluxe padded seats out of flat boards covered in vinyl/pleather (plastic leather). That thick padding meant I could swing in the SNOW and my bum wouldn’t freeze! My daddy loved me so much. He thought of everything. I was spoiled with love. I was one of daddy’s little girls. My father passed away in 1996 and that swing set lives in my mind as part of his legacy.

Heather Whinnen ? 2008

Heather Whinnen ? 2008

GL:When did you start getting interested in performing as a way of life?

HW: Now that’s the random part in my story that links all the pieces of my childhood monkeyness and adult dancing together.

Here enters, “The Rabbit,” a.k.a, street performer, the rabbit that sent me diving into a wormhole of circus bizarre-i-o-so.

He was wearing green furry leggings and a dapper, bright orange, furry vest.

He was like an urban Sasquatch, a city Satyr, the Pan piper of wild things, wild things like me, who were/are- trapped perhaps- in chaos made of concrete, in a screeching zone of sirens and piercing beeps.

There is Pan, the street performer, looking like no one I’d ever seen in the city before, which is to say, weird. This guy was fantastically weird. This guy was intentional, meticulous magic. This guy could walk in both worlds. He could enter the dimension of otherworldly imagination and come back out for tea in a suit and tie if he wanted to. I sensed it. I knew it. He was a street performer by choice.

And I was entranced.

What a showman! He had a huge cubic metal, (probably aluminum), structure, and a skeleton frame of squares. He was balancing this thing on his chin! He grabbed four people from the crowd, put the cube on their shoulders and proceed to climb up their bodies to the top of the cube where he did a handstand!

I’d never seen anything like it. I had no idea what circus arts were. I had no idea that the extraordinary would one day become an ordinary part of my daily life.

The street performer’s name was Mason. I don’t know anything else about his identity. He disappeared from my life as quickly and magically as he had entered it. But before I lost contact with him he gave me the name and number of Lara Paxton, the founder of a company (that has since dissolved) called Circus Contraption.

I started taking aerial classes with her back in the year 2000 and it’s been a crazy circus ride ever since.

The end.

GL:The life of a circus performer, including an aerialist, seems like it would be a really intense way to live. Does the intensity ever become too much?

HW: No it never becomes too much. I love that aspect. It’s the lifestyle that’s too intense.

GL:What’s the lifestyle?

Photo by Milan Trykar : Copyright 2008

Photo ? 2008 Milan Trykar

HW: It requires working 3 or so on call jobs making very little money, being able to function highly even after sleeping a couple hours after a show. It’s very stressful. It’s hard to balance all the different things, like training, rehearsing, teaching and making money. I’m not a seasoned professional, meaning I can’t yet make a living off of just performing,

Some day I hope to start my own company or be a part of a company that I truly respect, that truly inspires me. I will not free lance forever. I hope to be a part of company that infuses modern dance with circus arts, with intense acrobatic physicality and aerial, something with intellectual and emotional depth, not just spectacle.

GL: What does it feel like in those moments when you’re performing and you reach the type of intellectual and emotional depth you aspire to?

HW: For me it’s a sense of ultimate joy, since I’m so high up. I’m sort of transcending daily life. I’m going to my place of bliss. My higher self is waving hello to the audiences” higher self. How common is it in this day and life that people have that kind of connection. I always feel my soul is talking. It’s just a really liberating feeling. I’m transcending all the BS.

One of my favorite performances was at an event called “Smoke Farm.” A fantastic twisted metal sculpture, abstractly shaped like budding vines, was hung 40 feet high or so, in a grove of cedar trees up north in Arlington, WA. Several aerial climbing ropes dangled from the “stems” of the metal sculpture. A group of aerialists and I climb these ropes silently, like creatures of the woods, and “danced” together, hanging there, so high off the ground. This kind of performance is my favorite. Site specific, original/uniquely designed apparatus/art sculptures, original music or no music at all, collaborative, interactive with the “audience,” informal, honest, simple and created and performed without an agenda. This is the kind of art I enjoy doing the most.

GL: I like how you describe yourself as a ‘creature of the woods’. Do you feel like aerial art is very animalistic?

HW: Yes, I guess I do. When I’m performing I shed all the intricacies of being a human being and I get to be some kind of creature. It’s a chance to tap into something mystical.

GL: After an experience like that, do you have a hard time just going back to ‘normal’ life?

HW: I never have a setting where I’m suppose to be normal. I just discovered peanut butter in an eye shadow container. That’s just how I live.

GL: The ‘Smoke Farm’ performance was an example of you favorite kind of work, but what type of jobs do you do most often as an aerialist?

HW: I perform a lot of aerial art/dance for clubs, corporate events, private parties (weddings, birthdays, etc), music festivals and once for a T.V. commercial. When I create work for this kind of thing the objective is to please others. It feels different. I always choreograph and create work that resonates in my soul, hits my own emotional chords, but when I work for money, my art does feel compromised a bit. C’est la vive.

Photo by Michael Moe : Emerald City Trapeze Arts

Photo ? Michael Moe
Emerald City Trapeze Arts

GL: Why do you think this type of art is less fulfilling?

HW:I get frustrated when I have to put on a performance that falls into just looking sexy, which is what a lot of these jobs sort of require — be all gold and have my whole since of worth wrap around my sexuality. But, it’s what pays the bills. I know I’m more diverse then that. And it’s boring for me. It’s frustrating that women have to have these roles.

When I am in this position I have to fight insecurities. I have to be that thing that others want me to be. I’m used to it but it’s a different kind of self. I’ve learned just to be more Zen with life. I have to let go with whatever judgment others may have and just enjoy what I’m doing. If I don’t my performance becomes more of a nerve-racking experience. I start to focus on how I don’t fit the body type, sexy woman. So I go out there and try to just focus on feeling good. I like to instill in every woman a carefree sort of feeling. Don’t worry about it. Love yourself. You’re beautiful.

I love to feel that way myself. I really focus a lot on developing a since of self-love for my body. It’s a very empowering. I try to be an example. All the things that are considered taboo don’t matter to me. I have the eyes of a child. I think of ballet. I never noticed my ballet teacher’s fat on her body. She was just this beautiful loving woman that taught me how to do a pirouette.

GL: How come you are drawn to aerial arts?

HW: My life, like my art, are a pendulum of the fantastic and the mundane. What most people would find exhausting and quite unusual is the norm for me. What is strange for most is my common ground. Extremes that would overwhelm the vast majority are my daily territory. This is simply how the stars aligned for me. It was/is my destiny to have “weird” extraordinary, powerful, INTENSE things happen to me. It’s in my genetics somehow. It’s my fate. And a great deal of the time, it’s very painful and very hard to navigate through. Aerial art helps me through this intensity. It is a vehicle that expresses to others visually what it is like “To be Heather Whinnen,” to have a life of extreme polarity. In this way I am silently communicating and connecting with others. I am reaching out and being received in a most receptive and appreciative way.

GL: Why do you think it was/is your destiny to have “weird” extraordinary, powerful, INTENSE things happen to you?

HW: I don’t know why. It’s just how the cards laid out for me. I guess I’ve been shaped by experiences. I don’t know. My whole upbringing was always intense and traumatic. That defiantly had a huge impact on how I deal with life. I have a very fierce survival instinct. If I am going to make it in life and as an artist I have to be very determined and intense which sometimes leads to the weird and extraordinary.

Photo by Star Morris of Rat Star Creative : Copyright 2008

Photo ? 2008 Star Morris
Rat Star Creative

GL: Can you describe what it feels like to be an aerialist?

HW: Imagine being really high, wrapping loops and knots around yourself. After you set up in this wrap you let go and the knot synchs down really hard on the spine and creates bruises everywhere. I have to have a certain tolerance. Inflecting pain on the physical body somehow releases any kind of emotional hurt. After you do it for the first time you’ll have rope or fabric burns or bruises. After awhile you stop bruising and the pain isn’t so intense.

GL: Why is it that you just stop bruising?

HW: I think that light intricate adjusting helps support your body better. I someone know innately how to not put so much pressure on certain parts of my body. I learn how to relax the parts of my body that I’m not using. This is what makes everything look good. I don’t pick up choreography quickly, so in the beginning my muscles have to work on getting my body set up correctly. In time I get stronger. Then I have to get rid of all of the tension so I can be strong and dance.

GL: You mentioned how ‘inflecting pain on the physical body somehow releases any kind of hurt’. How else does your art aid you emotionally.

HW: In brief: My art is my therapy. Not only does it help me make meaningful connections to others, it also offers me a sense of personal control, a guardian, a fierce warrior, a tool- like a sword- that cuts into emotional pain by embracing physical pain. Aerial hurts! It is brutally painful, very hard on the body. It’s incredibly dangerous. When I take that rope or metal bar or fabric in my hand I am saying, “Look here. I am doing this willfully. The pain that is about to be inflicted on my body is my choice and I can handle it.” My art is very empowering.

GL: Have you ever been seriously injured performing?

HW: I’ve had serious neck and back breaks. I had a hairline fracture in both f my feet. For a long time I had to wrap them in ice. I still have to work after all this.

GL: How can you work with a broken back?

HW: There is something called the spinous process that protects the spine. It split open. But I was still able to move around. It wasn’t like I broke it and I couldn’t move. It really sucks now. It didn’t hurt the first year it happened but as time goes by it hurts more and more. I have lots of scare tissue that causes it to ache. But I’ve acclimated to the pain.

GL: It seems to me this would almost be too much to bear.

HW: In this profession it’s common to have these types of injuries. Plus, aerial art is not something I choose to do it’s something I have to do. I have so much more that I want to accomplish with this form of art. It’s a part of me and helps me in so many ways, so the pain is outweighed by the joy and just pure pleasure I get from performing and teaching.

GL: Can you tell us when your next performance is so that we can all come see you.?

HW: I’ll be a part of the New Years show at Emerald City Trapeze Arts in SODO.

GL: Thanks Heather. I wish you all the best in your future as an aerial artist. It was really a pleasure talking to you.

HW: Thank you Ginna for this opportunity to reflect and reminisce! It’s been really fun, brought back many fond memories and has actually helped me understand why on earth I do what I do. At this point in my life I often wonder and doubt. My dreams have many times been squashed and I am not at all where I hoped to be. But still, I’m here and I’m not ready to let go. There will be a time when I am FULL TIME or I’ll die trying. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s a pretty good way to go. Yah, I’m living the dream.

Photo ? 2010 Heather Whinnen

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2010 Top 'Jersey Shore' Huh? Moments

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Yes, it could be argued that "Jersey Shore" is one big Huh?? but here are some of our favorite moments that took place at the intersection of New Jersey and Miami Beach.

1. Ron cheats on Sammi and and Sammi gets mad at everyone in the house except Ron. Wait, whaaat? The guy goes out, cheats with two women, comes home and gets into bed with you, but you're mad at your roommates?

2. The Situation doesn't get the girl twice in a row. Did we ever see this coming? Pauly D scores and The Situation is left smush-less. Good job, Miami women!

3. J Woww and Snooki get the genius idea of writing an anonymous letter to Sammi about Ron's cheating. What was better? The idea or the execution? Stick with the gelato job, Snooks. Typing ain't your thing.

4. Sorry for being gross but the discovery of Angelina's used maxi pad and what The Situation decided to do with it was something a TV writer would never come up with. Can't blame The Situation for reacting the way he did. Girlfriend is a pig.

5. The Situation's handling of the hippo in the house shows why he is this show's top wage-earner. The man is a strategist as well as a wordsmith!

6. Vinny hooked up with?Snooki and then smushes Angelina. Like, really? There was no one else in Miami?

7. Vinny meets the woman of his dreams: Ramona, a go-go dancer at a club. He wants to, gasp!, romance over dinner. ?He buys a new outfit, gets a haircut ... even buys flowers! And the chick doesn't show up! We were just as confused as you, Vinny.?

8. Disgruntled Sammi (refer to Huh? moment? No. 1) continues to alienate herself from the rest of the clan with her bratty attitude. It escalates when she decides to get involved in a an argument between JWoww and Angelina. Fists start flying between Sammi and JWoww. And Sammi is convinced she is the victor. Uh, play back the tape.

9. It was the scene worthy of the "Jaws" overture: the chicken cutlet in the jacuzzi. One of the boys' many lady visitors loses her bosom enhancer. Meanwhile, the boys create a new game: toss the cutlet.

10. It stinks in this car! And the stench isn't from one of Snooki's pickles. Wait. Wait. Oh God, how old is that sandwich?

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--Maria Elena Fernandez and Yvonne Villarreal

twitter.com/writerchica

twitter.com/villarrealy

Video: Montage of Sami and Ron's relationship on "Jersey Shore." Credit: YouTube

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Saturday's TV Highlights: 'V' on ABC

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Jan. 2 - 8 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Jan. 2 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


Et-288-V-le9gvnnc ALIENS: Gearing up for the Jan. 4 return of the sci-fi series “V,” ABC presents three Season 1 episodes, starting with the pilot (8, 9 and 10 p.m.). Morena Baccarin stars.

SERIES

Cash & Cari: Detroit-based estate liquidator Cari Cucksey stars in this new unscripted series which follows her as she turns up hidden treasures (11 a.m. HGTV). The series moves into its regular Monday prime-time slot on Jan. 3.

Primeval: Abby and Connor escape in the season premiere of this science fiction series (6 and 9 p.m. BBC America).

House of Anubis: Students try to solve a mystery at an English boarding school in the premiere of this new series (8 p.m. Nickelodeon).

Austin City Limits: Cheap Trick performs in this new episode (9 p.m. KLCS).

SPECIALS

The 122nd Annual Tournament of Roses Parade: Coverage of the annual event begins at 7 a.m. on KTLA with a countdown to the parade. The parade's theme is “Building Dreams, Friendships and Memories” with Grand Marshal Paula Deen. KTLA's coverage is hosted by Bob Eubanks and Stephanie Edwards (8 and 10 a.m.; 12:30, 3 and 7:30 p.m.). NBC, ABC, Hallmark and HGTV also air live coverage at 8 a.m.

MOVIES

The Green Mile: Tom Hanks, David Morse and Michael Clarke Duncan star in this 1999 adaptation of the Stephen King story (7 and 10:30 p.m. Bravo).

National Lampoon's Animal House: John Belushi went from “Saturday Night Live” cutup to major movie star after appearing in this 1978 comedy. Tim Matheson, Stephen Furst, Tom Hulce, Karen Allen and Donald Sutherland also star (8 p.m. Cinemax).

SPORTS

College basketball: West Virginia at Marquette (8 a.m. ESPN2).

Hockey: The Pittsburgh Penguins host the Washington Capitals in an outdoor arena in the 2011 Winter Classic (10 a.m. NBC); the San Jose Sharks visit the Kings (6 p.m. FSN).

College football: Outback Bowl: Florida vs. Penn State (10 a.m. ABC); Capital One Bowl: Alabama vs. Michigan State (10 a.m. ESPN); Progressive Gator Bowl: Michigan vs. Mississippi State (10:30 a.m. ESPN2); Rose Bowl: Texas Christian vs. Wisconsin (2:07 p.m. ESPN); Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Connecticut vs. Oklahoma (5:37 p.m. ESPN).

Photo credit: Bob D'Amico / ABC

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Good Fences

He climbed the tree to see if she was there and saw her planting bulbs in her flower garden.

Hey Miss Mae, he called.

She turned around.

You need help?

No not really, but come on over.

He climbed down the tree and over the fence then ran to her. She looked at him as he knelt beside her then motioned toward the bulbs.

Could you hand me one of those, hun?

He handed one to her. She took it and dropped it in a hole then covered it up. On the next one she let him drop it in the hole. Pretty soon she had him digging and covering too while she made sure the holes were evenly spaced and deep enough.

Good, she said. Now go inside and wash up, and if you don’t mind, bring me my arthritis medicine.

When he came back onto the porch she had some lemonade for him. He handed her the medicine and they sat down. After she lit one she handed it to him. She only ever let him take a couple puffs because she was afraid his mother would stop bringing her homemade cinnamon rolls. In a few months she’d get in huge trouble when doctors, for his pre-K physical, would find traces of marijuana in his urine sample. But for now his mother was proud of how he helped the old widow and loved how much better he behaved after visiting her.

Lemme see that, she said. He’d been shooting empty coffee cans with her BB gun when she held her arm out toward him. He handed it to her then—pthew—a squirrel fell off the bird feeder.

He ran to where the squirrel lay then bent down to look at it. She walked up behind him holding the gun.

Her arthritis hurt too bad to shoot real guns anymore, but one time, she had her son come over who took them a few miles outside the city limits. He and the boy shot some of his real guns while she watched from the truck. She, of course, told the boy’s mother she needed his help grocery shopping.

The boy liked it when Miss Mae shot squirrels. When they were alive they never let him look at them up close. Sometimes he wished she would shoot birds too but she said birds didn’t try to eat what wasn’t theirs.

Now don’t touch it, hun, she said. I’ll be right back. She returned with the shovel she used to clean up after the neighbor’s dog then scooped it up and flung it into the neighbor’s bushes.

They sat down and he went back to shooting coffee cans while she continued her arthritis medicine.

A little while later they heard a woman’s voice calling the boy’s name.

Todd?

The boy hid the BB gun under his chair while she hid her medicine.

He’s over here, said Miss Mae.

The woman’s head appeared over the fence.

Oh, there you are, she said to the boy. What’ve you been doing? Then she added, Hi, Mae.

Miss Mae said hi and that he’d been helping her plant bulbs.

Well, that’s a good boy, the woman said and told him what a great helper he is. Miss Mae agreed, and they all smiled. His mother then told him to stay with Miss Mae because pretty soon he’d need to come home before his sister’s recital to have a bath. He said OK and she said, Come give me a kiss.

He ran to the fence and climbed it so he could reach her lips.

Well, that’s a funny smell, she said speaking about his breath.

I gave him some molasses candy for helping with the bulbs.

Oh, the woman said. Well, I guess it’s just been too long since I’ve had molasses. Anyway, you mind Miss Mae. He said he would and she pulled his head to her kneck. When she let go she said, Thanks for looking after him Mae, then turned around and went inside.

When they were sure she was gone Miss Mae nodded and he un-hid the BB gun.

Not too long after that, the neighbor’s bushes began to rustle. Pretty soon a dog began to shimmy under the fence with the squirrel its mouth.

Miss Mae again took the gun from the boy.

Pthew

The boy saw the BB fly through the air, pelting the dog in the forehead. Instantly, it dropped the squirrel as it yelped and shimmied back under the fence.

Miss Mae gave the boy the gun back and told him to wait there. She returned carrying the same shovel, but this time when she flung the squirrel over the fence she made sure it landed in the middle of the neighbor’s yard.

What the hell!? yelled a man’s voice.

The man’s head appeared over the fence.

What the hell is this!? he said holding up the squirrel.

Miss Mae leaned on the shovel. Her voice cool, she said, Your bastard of a dog tried to drag it into my yard.

Well, I don’t want it! he said, and dropped it onto Miss Mae’s lawn.

The boy brought the gun to his shoulder and fired.

Owe, fuck! the man said, grabbing his forehead. He disappeared from their view for a moment, letting out a string of profanity.

When he reappeared he was still holding his forehead.

You little bastard! he said looking at the boy.

The man grabbed the top of the fence and vaulted over it. As soon as he hit the ground, Miss Mae swung the shovel, its handle connecting with the man’s shins in a loud, painful crack. Instantly, he went down.

Miss Mae watched coolly as he writhed, holding his shins.

I’m calling the cops, he said through gritted teeth.

Miss Mae leaned toward him holding the shovel for support.

Now, I know you’re not too bright, she said, so I’m going to explain this real slow. I’m sure the cops wouldn’t be as concerned about a five year old boy shooting someone with a BB gun as they would about a grown man attacking a five year old boy.

The man stopped. Miss Mae’s eyes bore into his as understanding filled them.

Besides, she said, You wouldn’t want everyone to know you got your ass kicked by an old lady, would you?

Miss Mae stood up.

Now, why don’t you haul yourself back to the other side of that fence before I call my son so he can throw your ass over it?

The man looked at her moment longer, wide-eyed, then got up and struggled over the fence. When he was gone, the boy looked at Miss Mae.

Her face twisted into a painful grimace and she dropped the shovel. He ran to her.

He took her hands and rubbed them as they curled in an arthritic twist. He guided her into the house.

When he sat her down in the kitchen he took the hand towel from the oven handle and filled it with ice. He then wrapped her hands around the bundle, and she again grimaced as her twisted fingers wrested around it.

The boy held her hands around the ice pack. He looked at her as she looked at her hands.

I shouldn’t have shot him, the boy said.

Miss Mae’s faced softened. No, you shouldn’t have, she agreed.

He held her hands a while longer then asked if she wanted him to get her medicine. She shook her head.

No, you better run home now, she said. You’re mom’s probably ready to give you that bath.

The boy nodded but didn’t let go.

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Friday, December 24, 2010

'Top Chef' recap: Jamie's hidden talents

Tc photo?
I hope I never find myself inside a bank during an armed robbery, but if anyone happens to hold up Wells Fargo while I’m in there arguing over service fees, I know who I want to hide with — Jamie.

The “Top Chef All-Star” contestant did Doug Henning one better in Wednesday’s episode, as she tried to vanish — along with her apparently awful dish — right in front of both her teammates and the judges.
For the most part, “Top Chef” participants don’t have the opportunity (or, perhaps, the sneakiness) to resort to “Survivor”-like combat strategies, but Jamie and maybe one other contestant might have played a little dirty in the episode that sent Spike off.

The elimination challenge divided the remaining cooks into two teams, who then had to select individual contestants to face an opponent in a tennis-themed showdown. As in any match play team event, from academic decathlons to the Ryder Cup, there’s always a bit of strategy. Do you lead with your best competitor and hope to grab an early lead, or do you save your best for last and close with a flurry?
Jamie settled on a third option: Disappear.

She might not have been cooking chicken, but she behaved like one. At one point, the “Top Chef” cameras found her ducking behind a table as her potential turn approached,?apparently in the?hope that her teammates wouldn’t send her into the fray. We’ll never know how her dish would have fared, as her invisibility cloak kept her and her food on the sidelines. However wimpy the tactic (remember, she was already in the doghouse for heading to the hospital with a knife cut), Jamie was able to save herself, potentially at the price of Spike’s losing.

Richard called Jamie out for the cowardly act, and as Spike was packing his knives he remarked of her, “This is a competition, and at some point you’re going to have to compete.” We can’t imagine a lot of cooks are going to want to work with her down the line.

But if Jamie was following some dodgy rules, was Angelo actually playing dirty? Two of his teammates — Spike and Tre — felt that Angelo’s last-minute ministrations might have sent their otherwise-good dishes to the scrap heap. We’re never one to underestimate Angelo’s craftiness, but his culinary instincts are almost always unassailable, even if he appeared to have cooked Tre’s salmon just a bit too much.

These are all grownups, and they have doubtlessly watched enough “Top Chef” reruns to know that you can always refuse someone’s assistance if you don’t trust them. Or better yet, hide.

-- John Horn

Photo: Angelo Sosa, Jamie Lauren in "Top Chef All-Stars." Credit: Barbara Nitke/Bravo

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Friday's TV Highlights: 'A Christmas Story' on TBS

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


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HO, HO, HO:
Peter Billingsley, right, confers with a department-store Santa (Jeff Gillen) in the annual 24-hour marathon of 1983's “A Christmas Story,” which gets underway at 8 p.m. on TBS.

SERIES

Phineas and Ferb: On Christmas Eve, the boys (voices of Vincent Martella and Thomas Sangster) are hard at work turning Danville into a shimmering thank-you card to Santa Claus, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Dan Povenmire) covers the town in a cloud of naughtiness (10:05 p.m. Disney).

SPECIALS

Annual L.A. County Holiday Celebration: Music and dance groups from around the region take part in the event at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion (3 and 8 p.m. KCET).

Observances: “A Christmas for Everyone” (11:35 p.m. CBS); “Christmas Eve at St. Peter's Basilica” (11:35 p.m. NBC); “A Gospel Christmas” (12:35 a.m. early Saturday, CBS); “Christmas Liturgical” (2 and 5 a.m. early Saturday, NBC); “Service of Lessons and Carols From Historic Trinity Church on Wall Street” (2:06 a.m. early Saturday, ABC).

MOVIES

Miracle on 34th Street: In the 1947 holiday classic, Edmund Gwenn stars as a Macy's Santa who gets into trouble when he claims he's the real Kriss Kringle, and finds no one — not even a little girl (Natalie Wood) — willing to believe in him. Maureen O'Hara and John Payne also star (10 a.m., 3 and 8 p.m. AMC and 7:30 p.m. WGN America).

It's a Wonderful Life: There are worse ways to spend Christmas Eve than revisiting George Bailey (James Stewart) and his journey out of suicidal despair as an angel (Henry Travers) shows him what the world would be like if he were never born. Donna Reed and Lionel Barrymore also star in director Frank Capra's 1946 comedy-drama (8 p.m. NBC).

Battle of the Bulbs: Feuding neighbors (Daniel Stern and Matt Frewer) go to extremes to win an annual Christmas decoration contest in this 2010 TV comedy (8 p.m. Hallmark).

SPORTS

College basketball: Cancun Governor's Cup, Consolation Game (4 p.m. ESPN2); Cancun Governor's Cup, Final (6 p.m. ESPN2).

College football: Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii vs. Tulsa (5 p.m. ESPN).

Photo credit: Turner Broadcasting Inc.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

CBS upgrades Tom Selleck drama 'Blue Bloods' to Wednesdays in midseason shift

December 21, 2010?|? 6:45 pm

Selleck CBS, the No. 1 network this fall, is revamping its schedule for midseason.?

"Blue Bloods," the police drama starring Tom Selleck, will get a four-week tryout at 10 p.m. Wednesdays starting Jan. 19, the network said Tuesday. While the show will move back into its Friday night slot after that, the network has high hopes for "Blue Bloods," the second-most-watched new drama this season after CBS' "Hawaii Five-o."

Starting Feb. 16, "Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior" will premiere in the 10 p.m. Wednesday slot. The crime series is a spin-off of "Criminal Minds," one of CBS' biggest hits.

"The Defenders," the legal drama with Jerry O'Connell and Jim Belushi, will move to the quiet zone of 8 p.m. Fridays starting Feb. 4.

CBS will also unfurl a couple new series: the sitcom "Mad Love" (starting Feb. 21), headed for the Monday comedy block, and "Chaos," a one-hour comedy-drama (April 1) slated for Fridays. "Mad Love" will be replacing "Rules of Engagement," which is headed to Thursdays to be paired with "Big Bang Theory." "$#*! My Dad Says," which had been in that slot, will have completed its first-season order.?

“We’re in the fortunate position of having a schedule with many successful shows and very few holes,” Kelly Kahl, senior executive vice president of prime time for CBS, said in a statement.? “This allows us to be very targeted with our mid-season series. ?These are moves that maintain the core stability of a successful schedule, while giving us multiple looks for the future at a few time periods.”

— Scott Collins (Twitter: @scottcollinsLAT)

Photo: Tom Selleck in "Blue Bloods." Credit: Marni Grossman/CBS.

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Wednesday's Talk Shows

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


The Early Show Oprah Winfrey; Jason Segel and Jack Black; chef Michael Symon. (N) 7 a.m. KCBS?

Today Voices of Destiny perform; Molly O'Neill; Jason Segel; Aaron Neville; Jason Denton. (N) 7 a.m. KNBC?

Good Morning America (N) 7 a.m. KABC?

Rachael Ray Kris Jenner. (N) 9 a.m. KCBS?

Live With Regis and Kelly A look back at festive moments from the show over the years includes a performance by 'N Sync. (N) 9 a.m. KABC?

The View Amanda Peet; El DeBarge. (N) 10 a.m. KABC?

The Talk Wayne Brady. 1 p.m. KCBS?

The Nate Berkus Show A design personality quiz; holiday decorating on a budget; creating a holiday table. (N) 2 p.m. KNBC?

The Oprah Winfrey Show Susan Boyle, 10-year-old Jackie Evancho; Debby Boone. 3 p.m. KABC?

Dr. Phil How easily a good person can be drawn to the dark side. 4 p.m. KCBS?

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Taylor Swift. 4 p.m. KNBC?

The Dr. Oz Show Hormones and insomnia; constipation; beauty products. 5 p.m. KTTV?

Tavis Smiley Author Wendell Potter; musician El DeBarge. (N) 7 and 11 p.m. KCET?

Chelsea Lately Crystal Bowersox. (N) 11 p.m. E!

Conan Jack Black; artist Erika Nelson; Jimmie Vaughan. (N) 11 p.m. TBS?

Charlie Rose (N) 11:30 p.m. KCET?

Late Show With David Letterman Denis Leary; Grace Potter & the Nocturnals perform. (N) 11:35 p.m. KCBS?

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno Javier Bardem; Jarod Miller; Naturally 7 with the Agape International Choir. (N) 11:35 p.m. KNBC?

Lopez Tonight Hailee Steinfeld; Filter. (N) midnight TBS?

Jimmy Kimmel Live Dan Aykroyd. 12:06 a.m. KABC?

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson Michael Clarke Duncan; TVGrant Imahara. (N) 12:37 a.m. KCBS?

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Ethan Hawke; Gillian Jacobs; José Feliciano. (N) 12:37 a.m. KNBC

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Wednesday's TV Highlights 'The 12th Annual A Home for the Holidays' on CBS

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format (alternate link)

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This week's TV Movies


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HOLIDAY SPECIAL: Katy Perry performs in “The 12th Annual A Home for the Holidays” at 8 p.m. on CBS.

SERIES

Undercovers: Steven and Samantha (Boris Kodjoe, Gugu Mbatha-Raw) must recover stolen American currency plates before they are used by a terrorist to make counterfeit money in this new episode (8 p.m. NBC).?

The Middle: Much to Mike's (Neil Flynn) dismay, Frankie's (Patricia Heaton) parents (Marsha Mason, Jerry Van Dyke) come to town to spend the holidays (8 p.m. ABC).?

Modern Family: Claire and Haley (Julie Bowen, Sarah Hyland) share some quality time when they are stuck at home sick, while Phil (Ty Burrell) is driven nuts by the chirp of a smoke detector in this repeat (9 p.m. ABC).?

The Defenders: When he considers taking what appears to be a simple arson case, Nick (Jim Belushi) soon realizes the client could be convicted of first-degree murder in this repeat (10 p.m. CBS).?

Biography: John Belushi is profiled in this new episode (10 p.m. Biography).?

Top Chef: For the quick-fire challenge, the remaining chefs must create a holiday stuffing dish using no utensils, just their own two hands (10 p.m. Bravo).?

Psych: Shawn and Gus must use Yang's knowledge to save a kidnapped woman from Yin, in the season finale (10 p.m. USA).?

MOVIES

Gift of the Magi: Marla Sokoloff and Mark Webber star in this 2010 holiday treat (8 p.m. Hallmark).?

SPORTS

Tennis: Match for Africa: Roger Federer vs. Rafael Nadal: Exhibition, from Madrid, Spain. (10 a.m. ESPN2).?

College basketball: Texas at Michigan State (4 p.m. ESPN2); Missouri at Illinois (6 p.m. ESPN2); Xavier at Gonzaga (8 p.m. ESPN2); Kansas at California (8 p.m. FSN).?

College football: Maaco Bowl Las Vegas: Boise State vs. Utah (5 p.m. ESPN).?

Pro basketball: The Houston Rockets visit the Clippers (7:30 p.m. FS Prime).

Photo: Eric McCandless / Triage

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Monday's Highlights: 'Million Dollar Money Drop' on Fox

Hoarders: After growing up with a mother who was an inveterate hoarder a 19-year-old man realizes he must get his own hoarding under control if he want to have a ‘normal' life, in this new episode (10 p.m. A&E).?

Men of a Certain Age: Joe (Ray Romano) finds himself dating two women, a situation he isn't sure how to handle and Terry (Scott Bakula) makes a bet with another salesman over which of them can move more cars in this new episode (10 p.m. TNT).?

SPECIALS

Martha and the Christmas Tree: In the first of six planned episodes of this new animated series, a ten-year-old Martha Stewart, and her friends enter the annual Bedford Falls tree trimming contest (7 p.m. Hallmark).?

MOVIES

The Special Relationship: HBO reprises a some of its best 2010 TV movies beginning with Michael Sheen, Dennis Quaid in “The Special Relationship” (7:30 p.m.); Claire Danes and Catherine O'Hara in “Temple Grandin” (9 p.m.) and Al Pacino and Susan Sarandon in “You Don't Know Jack” (11 p.m.).?

SPORTS

Basketball: The Minnesota Timberwolves visit the Clippers (7:30 p.m. FS Prime).

Photo: Michael Yarish / Fox

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Monday's Talk Show

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


The Early Show “Survivor: Nicaragua” winner; Barry Manilow. (N) 7 a.m. KCBS?

Today Jack McBrayer; Brian Boitano; Liz Vaccariello. (N) 7 a.m. KNBC?

KTLA Morning News (N) 7 a.m. KTLA?

Good Morning America (N) 7 a.m. KABC?

Live With Regis and Kelly 9 a.m. KABC?

The View Sherri Shepherd entertains the troops at Fort Hood, Texas. (N) 10 a.m. KABC?

The Nate Berkus Show Last-minute shopping secrets; decorating for Christmas without going broke; feeding a holiday party. (N) 2 p.m. KNBC?

The Oprah Winfrey Show Oprah shares more of her favorite things with her audience; Josh Groban and Johnny Mathis. (Part 2 of 2) 3 p.m. KABC?

Dr. Phil Parents say they do not approve of their 19-year-old daughter's lifestyle. 4 p.m. KCBS?

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Justin Timberlake. 4 p.m. KNBC?

The Dr. Oz Show Plastic surgery for skin-problem areas; a procedure to eliminate jowls; skin tags. 5 p.m. KTTV?

Tavis Smiley Authors Robert Putnam and Nassim Taleb. (N) 7 and 11 p.m. KCET?

Conan Aaron Eckhart; Mary Lynn Rajskub; Beach House. (N) 11 p.m. TBS?

Charlie Rose (N) 11:30 p.m. KCET?

Late Show With David Letterman Jack Black; sportscaster Marv Albert. (N) 11:35 p.m. KCBS?

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno Larry King; Garrett Hedlund; Pink Martini. (N) 11:35 p.m. KNBC?

Lopez Tonight Xzibit; Cirque du Soleil performs. (N) midnight TBS?

Jimmy Kimmel Live Kevin Spacey (“Casino Jack”); Olivia Wilde (“TRON: Legacy”); the Goo Goo Dolls. 12:06 a.m. KABC?

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson Kristin Davis; Dick Cavett. (N) 12:37 a.m. KCBS?

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Jason Segel; Hailee Steinfeld. (N) 12:37 a.m. KNBC

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Weekend Talk Shows

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 19 - 25 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


SATURDAY

Good Morning America (N) 7 a.m. KABC?

McLaughlin Group (N) 6:30 p.m. KCET?

The Chris Matthews Show Howard Fineman, Huffington Post; Norah O'Donnell, NBC; Joe Klein, Time; and Katty Kay, BBC. (N) 5:30 a.m. KNBC

SUNDAY

Today Rockettes; Norah O'Donnell. (N) 6 a.m. KNBC?

Good Morning America (N) 6 a.m. KABC?

State of the Union With Candy Crowley The GOP agenda: Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.). The U.S. Postal System: Fredric Rolando, National Assn, of Letter Carriers. 6 and 9 a.m. CNN?

CBS News Sunday Morning Matt Damon; profile of David Sedaris. (N) 7 a.m. KCBS?

Fareed Zakaria GPS Remembering Richard C. Holbrooke: Leslie Gelb, Council on Foreign Relations; Vali Nasr, Tufts University; Joe Klein, Time. 7 and 10 a.m. CNN?

Meet the Press Vice President Joe Biden; Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory A. Booker; political advisor Mark McKinnon; Andrea Mitchell; Joe Scarborough. (N) 8 a.m. KNBC?

This Week With Christiane Amanpour Unfinished business in the lame-duck Congress: Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.); Sen. Richard G. Lugar (R-Ind.). Infant nutrition: Rajiv Shah, USAID administrator. Panel: Chrystia Freeland; Rajiv Chandrasekaran; Donna Brazile; George Will. (N) 8 a.m. KABC?

Fox News Sunday With Chris Wallace Lame duck legislation: START treaty; “don't ask, don't tell” repeal: Sen. Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.); Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.); Virginia's legal challenge to health care bill: Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-Va.). Panel: Kevin Madden; William Kristol; Mara Liasson. (N) 8 a.m. KTTV?

Reliable Sources Coverage of the tax cut cmpromise; Sarah Palin on television; Boehner's emotional interviews: Katrina Vanden Heuvel, the Nation; Ramesh Ponnuru, National Review; Alex Wagner, Politics Daily. Race and journalism: Soledad O'Brien, CNN. Facebook and journalism: Ian Shapira, the Washington Post. 8 a.m. CNN?

Face the Nation Afghanistan; 2011: Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.); Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.); Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.); Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.). (N) 8:30 a.m. KCBS?

60 Minutes Extraordinary memory. (N) 7 p.m. KCBS?

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'Big Bang' recap: A Festivus of one-liners

December 17, 2010?|?11:22 am

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CBS is the “one-liner network” –- my motto, not theirs –- but the folks there?would be hard-pressed to dispute that assessment. They’ve ridden it right to first place in the ratings. Thing is, it gets the network no respect. One critic said NBC shows tend to be smart but not funny. CBS, he says, features shows that are funny but not smart. Funny rules.

"The Big Bang Theory" is the network’s smartest sitcom, and when it’s “on,” as on Thursday, it has Seinfeldian overtones: great banter, character-based humor and the sense that you’re watching one long hilarious skit when in fact it’s a carefully crafted little story with a solid beginning/middle/end.

The boys’ goal this time is to win the New Year’s Eve costume contest at the comic book store. Their secret weapon is brainless male bimbo Zack, who is back dating Penny again. Complications ensue when Penny reveals that she’d rather be spending New Year’s Eve with Leonard. But at the stroke of midnight, she kisses Zack instead, leaving Leonard alone and baffled.

This may be my favorite episode of the season -– full of fine writing and acting, over far too soon. Only Jim Parsons could get such a big laugh at the long knock on the door to Penny’s apartment. Preston Sturges or Billy Wilder would’ve been proud of that moment and maybe several others in this rippingly funny episode. It’s a Festivus of world-class one-liners.

?Way to go, Ye Gang of Bang. When you guys are on like this, this little show is a real gift.

?--Chris Erskine

Photo: The cast wins the New Year's costume party -- well, everyone but Leonard. Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS


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Saturday's Highlights: ''The Bounty Hunter' on Starz

WWE Tribute to the Troops: Pro wrestling's finest perform for U.S. armed services members at Ft. Hood, Texas, in this annual special (9 p.m. NBC).?

Ricky Gervais: Out of England 2 — The Stand-Up Special: The tart-tongued British comic performs in Chicago for his latest comedy special (10 p.m. HBO).?

MOVIES

Battle of the Bulbs: Christmas decorating gets out of control in this new made-for-cable holiday fable starring Daniel Stern and Matt Frewer (8 and 10 p.m. Hallmark).?

The Book of Eli: Denzel Washington stars in this post-apocalyptic 2010 action tale (8 p.m. HBO).?

Madagascar: Ben Stiller and Chris Rock lend their voices to this 2005 animated tale (9 p.m. ABC).?

SPORTS

College basketball: The Trojans take on Kansas (9 a.m. ESPN), and the Bruins battle BYU (2:30 p.m. FS Prime).?

Hockey: The Ducks face the Hurricanes (4 p.m. KDOC), and the Kings play the Predators (5 p.m. MyNet).?

Basketball: The Clippers visit the Bulls (5 p.m. FS Prime).?

Photo: Barry Wetcher / Columbia TriStar

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Thursday's TV Highlights: 'Larry King Live' on CNN

Click here to download TV listings for the week of Dec. 12 - 18 in PDF format

TV listings for the week of Dec. 12 - 18 in PDF format (alternate link)

Weekly TV Listings can also be found at: www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv

This week's TV Movies


?

Et-drqfidgy-dec16
END OF AN ERA:
Larry King, left, with Vice President Al Gore and Ross Perot in 1993, ends his run on CNN at 6 and 9 p.m.?

SERIES

The Big Bang Theory: The guys find a use for Penny's (Kaley Cuoco) hot new boyfriend, Zack (Brian Thomas Smith), when they enter a costume contest as the Justice League in the new episode. Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons also star (8 p.m. CBS).?

Burn Notice: This action thriller ends its season with two new episodes (9 and 10 p.m. USA).?

L.A. Gang Wars: The Peacemaker: This new series documents criminal gang activity in Southern California (10 and 10:30 p.m. A&E).?

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Camille invites a few special guests to join the housewives at a glamorous dinner party at her Malibu home, where an explosive showdown ensues as Camille and Kyle's issues are reignited in this new episode (10 p.m. Bravo).?

SPECIALS

Inside the Body of Henry VIII: In this special, modern medical experts join forces with historians to investigate the nature of ailments suffered by the monarch, their possible causes and the effects they may have had on his mental state (7 and 10 p.m. National Geographic).?

Funniest Commercials of the Year: 2010: Isaiah Mustafa (a.k.a. the guy from those Old Spice ads) hosts the special, which includes guest appearances by Jonathan Goldsmith (a.k.a. the “Most Interesting Man in the World” from those Dos Equis beer commercials) and David Hasselhoff (10 p.m. TBS).?

MOVIES

Gift of the Magi: In this new contemporary retelling of O. Henry's classic short story, Marla Sokoloff and Scott Webber star as cash-strapped newlyweds (8 and 10 p.m. Hallmark).?

SPORTS

Hockey: The Ducks visit the New York Islanders (4 p.m. FS Prime); the Kings visit the St. Louis Blues (5 p.m. FSN).?

Pro basketball: The Atlanta Hawks visit the Boston Celtics (5 p.m. TNT); the San Antonio Spurs visit the Denver Nuggets (7:30 p.m. TNT).

Photo: George Bennett / Associated Press

?

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As CNN says goodbye, Larry King's greatest gaffes, goofs and bloopers

Larryking2
With Larry King set on Thursday night to leave CNN's "Larry King Live" after 25 years behind the microphone, we can't help reminiscing about the interviewer's moments of greatness. Or at least moments of great confusion. What follows is a sampling of the host's memorable goofs and gaffes:?

1. Marlon Brando: "You can't see my feet, can you?"

During this classic 1994 encounter, King gets punked by one of the world's great actors, as Brando needles King about sweating too much ("Give this guy a Kleenex") and his wardrobe ("I wore some red suspenders in your honor").? As King attempts to ask him if he regretted taking any roles, Brando suddenly interrupts: "You can't see my feet, can you? I forgot to put my shoes on." Their memorable interaction was subsequently spoofed in a "Saturday Night Live" skit that had King applying massage oil to Brando's feet. WEIRDNESS FACTOR: 10 out of 10

?

2. Paul McCartney: "George? This is Ringo!"

In 2007, King sat down with the surviving Beatles and asked them about their reactions to the deaths of their two bandmates. After McCartney described where he was when he heard the news that John Lennon had been shot, King turned to the world's most famous drummer, seated to McCartney's left, and said: "George, where were you?" "George?" a surprised McCartney said, as Ringo Starr broke into an embarrassed smile. "This is Ringo!" When King attempted to recover, McCartney persisted: "He got your name wrong; we're on national television!" Former Beatle George Harrison died in 2001. WEIRDNESS FACTOR: 4 out of 10

?

3. Jerry Seinfeld: "Do you know who I am?"

Another classic from 2007, as King tries to nail down, as no one had previously suggested, that "Seinfeld" — one of the biggest comedy hits in TV history — may have been axed by the bosses at NBC. "You're not aware of this?" an astonished Jerry Seinfeld says. "No, I'm asking," King replies. "You think I got canceled?" Seinfeld asks. "Are you under the impression I got canceled?" An exasperated Seinfeld finally barks: "Do you know who I am?" King, mystifying to the end, says: "Jewish guy, Brooklyn?" WEIRDNESS FACTOR: 8 out of 10?

?

4.Jake Brown: "The board's one of the main things."

At the 2007 X Games, skateboarder Jake Brown careered up a ramp, flipped off the board and then, legs kicking, fell 40 feet to a horrifying crash — and walked away. Almost as impressive was his recovery when King queried him about the sport and wondered: "How important is the board?" Brown: "The board's one of the main things." Maybe not the main thing, mind you, but right up there. If you're not interested in King showing off his extensive research on the subject of competitive skateboarding, just skip to about 3:55 in the video. WEIRDNESS FACTOR: 5 out of 10

?

— Scott Collins (Twitter: @scottcollinsLAT)

Photo: Larry King leaves his CNN talk show Thursday. Credit: Rose M. Prouser/Associated Press.

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Thursday's Talk Shows

Dr. Phil Marcus and Joni Lamb. (N) 7 p.m. KCAL?

Tavis Smiley Stevie Wonder. (N) 7 and 11 p.m. KCET?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Author Mike Huckabee (“Can't Wait Till Christmas”). 11 p.m. Comedy Central?

Chelsea Lately Amy Adams. (N) 11 p.m. E!

Conan Mark Wahlberg; Charles Phoenix; Jenny and Johnny. (N) 11 p.m. TBS?

Charlie Rose (N) 11:30 p.m. KCET?

Late Show With David Letterman Matt Damon; Florence & the Machine perform. (N) 11:35 p.m. KCBS?

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno Jason Segel; Adam Ferrara, Tanner Foust and Rutledge Wood; Katharine McPhee performs. (N) 11:35 p.m. KNBC?

Lopez Tonight Justin Timberlake; Stephen Dorff; Ciara performs. (N) midnight TBS?

Jimmy Kimmel Live Jeff Bridges. (N) 12:06 a.m. KABC?

The Late Late Show Seth Green; Lena Dunham. (N) 12:37 a.m. KCBS?

Late Night Paul Rudd; Jon Lovitz. (N) 12:37 a.m. KNBC?

Last Call Adam Carolla; Casey Pieretti. (N) 1:36 a.m. KNBC?

?

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Citrus County

reviewed by Miriam Roth

Published December 3rd, 2010


When plugging John Brandon’s Citrus County to friends as the best novel I’ve read lately, I find myself fumbling for an appealing summary.? The basic premise is a tough sale, at least for the over-fourteen crowd: a pubescent bad boy has a crush on a pubescent good girl, and she likes him too!? But?the pitch is even tougher, at least for the non-sociopathic crowd, when I turn to the real meat of the plot: the aforementioned bad boy, who really is very bad, kidnaps the girl’s four-year-old sister and keeps her in an underground bunker in the woods.

Brandon doesn’t make any moves to soften the blow of the abduction.? There is no cheerful or ironic way around the creepiness of the act and its aftermath.? The boy sneaks into the toddler’s room, stuffs her in a duffel bag, and hides her in a dank cellar for a long time.

I feel compelled to somehow apologize for this book- and myself- for taking such pleasure in such disturbing material.? Somewhat averse to crime genres myself, I don’t find it surprising that Brandon’s editors opted for a mysterious but inoffensive vagueness when crafting the back-cover synopsis.? Waxing abstract is probably the best way to lure potential readers into this uncomfortable territory, and it doesn’t sell the book short to argue that its complex ideas ultimately transcend its central perversion.

Nonetheless, and not only for the sake of filtering out the morally squeamish, it seems worthwhile to begin a discussion of Citrus County by laying out its horrifying premise from the onset.? Because while the book is sweet, funny, and not nearly as upsetting as the above summary might suggest, it never relinquishes its dark side.

It goes without saying that there is much more to Citrus County than the kidnapping.? For one thing, Brandon’s innovative prose is engrossing on its own.? Brandon’s style is effortless, but it vibrates with energy.? It is fluid and unadorned, yet each chapter stunned me with lines whose wit or poignancy left me breathless.? I will forego additional gushing in this regard, however, and simply say that it would do Citrus County injustice to dwell exclusively on its plot.

Described by one critic as “Southern Gothic goes to middle school,” Citrus County, like its Gulf Coast namesake, feels both alien and alarmingly familiar.? Brandon, who grew up just south of Citrus County, depicts the town’s?drifting manatees, vicious bugs, and unruly flora in the intoxicating, exaggerated style of the grotesque.?? The novel’s setting is a humid dream-nightmare of dark, twisting woods and abandoned hideaways- all alongside the ubiquitous mundanity? of Styrofoam, strip malls, and the soda upon which thirteen-year-old Toby appears to subsist.? Both surreal and banal, Citrus County is the perfect stage for Brandon’s ode to the sheer weirdness of the human mind.

Brandon’s treatment of the novel’s three main characters- confused adolescents Toby and Shelby, and Mr. Hibma, their equally confused geography teacher- is unusual and profoundly affecting.? Despite their distinct voices, all three seem connected by a common, troubling thread: an urge to assert or redefine themselves by testing their capacity for evil.? Each narrator is gripped by antisocial impulses, ranging in severity from “petty hoodlumism” to murder.? ??It’s strange to liken Shelby’s feeble attempts at delinquency with Mr. Hibma’s homicidal fantasies (and Toby’s actualized crime), but it is this very dissonance that highlights the psychological parallels between them.? Even more interesting is the way in which the disconnections between the characters, and within their own self-concepts, implicitly involve the reader.

It would seem that the most logical way for an author to elicit sympathy for a difficult character would be to track his thought process in such detail the reader can explain, if not justify, the? otherwise incomprehensible.? Citrus County takes a different route, and the effect is unnerving.? We definitely see Brandon’s characters up close; they divulge quirks and secrets that are consistently engaging and, at times, embarrassingly intimate. Citrus County stops short, however, of making sense of their upsetting thoughts and behaviors.? After weeks of reflection, I still can’t explain why Toby- a troublemaker but no sadist- kidnaps Shelby’s sister.? The odd thing is that?Toby doesn’t seem to understand either.

Brandon is deeply attuned to Citrus County and its drama, but he doesn’t feel so much omniscient as he does voyeuristic.? His lens zooms in on certain things, like Toby’s interactions at the hardware store where he thoughtfully selects supplies for his prisoner.? Other, rather important details are simply omitted:? we never see Toby with her in the bunker.? We are forced to watch him go about his daily business, trying his hand at pole vaulting and dating while she remains underground in the woods.? We admonish Toby- or his author- for completely omitting the little girl.? But in doing so, we can’t help but project ourselves into new perspectives that, while bizarre, feel inexplicably relatable.

By forcing the reader into the story in this way, Brandon triggers some serious reflection on repression, forgiveness, and unresolved questions in our own lives.? Citrus County puts moral logic on hold, hinting instead at a vague but sincere message of compassion.? The incompleteness of Brandon’s picture and the story’s somewhat abrupt ending place a great deal of creative and empathic responsibility on the reader.? Neither because of nor despite its odd asymmetry, Citrus County is something to behold: it presents a new kind of language for storytelling, an innovative challenge to the ways we relate to ourselves and others.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wednesday's Talk Shows

The Colbert Report Surfer Laird Hamilton. (N) 11:30 p.m. Comedy Central?

Late Show With David Letterman Tom Dreesen; Ronnie Spector performs. (N) 11:35 p.m. KCBS?

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno Emily Blunt; football player Keith Fitzhugh; Jackie Evancho. (N) 11:35 p.m. KNBC?

Lopez Tonight Dr. Drew Pinsky; Mila Kunis; Chrisette Michele. (N) midnight TBS?

Jimmy Kimmel Live Mark Wahlberg; Beau Garrett; the Temper Trap. (N) 12:06 a.m. KABC?

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson Nick Lachey; Jamy Ian Swiss. (N) 12:37 a.m. KCBS?

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Ben Stiller; the Miz; Annie Lennox performs. (N) 12:37 a.m. KNBC?

Last Call With Carson Daly Mike Vogel. (N) 1:36 a.m. KNBC

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